I feel a bit unsettled. At least I had some sleep. That’s good for a person. I guess you sleep and your subconscious helps you process the day. Well, I met a very cute baby yesterday. Parents were tired since they had to feed him every three hours and change his nappies and he just slept a little less than normally. He also cried when he wanted a cuddle.

Maybe as adults we don’t cuddle enough. Only when we say hi and goodbye and otherwise you only have one romantic partner usually here in the Netherlands to cuddle with. Unless you have several relationships. But I think we underestimate human touch. I’ll touch someone’s arm to show that I’m enthusiastic about something, to get someone’s attention or to reassure someone. I don’t even think about it.

Maybe one day I’d like to live in a community where we share food and stories. I’d like a group. I miss my group. My housemates I used to have. I still see them but we don’t live together anymore. I’d like to find a place where I share food, stories, maybe a hug. Yes. Well, let’s see!

I have a lot to do and a lot of deadlines and I don’t think it’s completely what it should be but getting very close. But I guess it doesn’t have to be perfect. Neither do I. Let’s see what happens and in the meantime I do what I can.

I think I should be more direct but at the same time a friend told me she isn’t that direct but on the other hand children shouldn’t come up with all the choices, as parents, they should too. Otherwise they will tell you they want something else and you will have created that situation. I guess she is right and that means I’ve got some work to do. But yeah I guess sometimes things can be urgent and they just have to happen or you can learn how to set boundaries throughout your life. No need to be perfect. Others aren’t either! We aren’t and that’s okay. Take it one day at a time.

I hope you are doing well wherever you are and until next time! X

It’s an exciting time for me to be alive. The world seems a bit different. I am more motivated, happy and outgoing. I’m doing my best to exercise and give my students a well prepared and fun lesson. I am trying to connect with neighbours. I applied for a job. I enjoyed easter with family and friends and someone who became more than a friend.

Yes, it’s an exciting time to be alive. I’m doing my best and I also feel pressure and sometimes I get scared and sometimes I have a lot of thoughts floating in my mind but I can talk about it and write about it. I’m all right! I also spoke to one of my students and he was very open about his mental health. Students who feel free to open up to me makes me wonder if I should be a mentor.

Today it’s the birthday of a loved one. I hope we’re going to have loads of fun. The sun is shining and I’ll meet a lot of people. I hope he’ll like my presents.

I’m also working on my portfolios and asked my friends for help! I hope I’ll get it all done. And I want to put effort into it. I just also shouldn’t forget to relax. I have put dreamy music on. Which is nice and relaxing :).

I hope you are doing great wherever you are and until next time! X